Star Wars Half Marathon Training: Weeks 4, 5, & 6

Overall I am happy with how my training is going.  It isn’t on schedule or going as planned, but I am progressing and feeling good.  I think that is what is the most important.

 

I know I am not where I “should” be for my training, but I have until mid-January to get to 13 miles.  Maybe I’m being too optimistic, I don’t know.  I’m rarely optimistic so I doubt that’s the case.  Running feels good right now, and I’m enjoying myself.  The miles I am doing feel comfortable and I want to keep that going for as long as I can.  I’ve progressed from barely running 3 miles without wanting to die a month ago to running over 5 miles without stopping for walk breaks.  That’s a sign I’m doing something right.  It has to be.

 

Plan

Week 4: Monday-5 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-6.5 miles

Week 5: Monday-5 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-7 miles

Week 6: Monday-5 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-7.5 miles

 

 

Actual

Week 4: Tuesday – 45 min elliptical, Thursday – 5.43 miles, Sunday – 6.12 miles

Week 5: Tuesday – 3.07 miles, Thursday – 5.12 miles, Sunday – 3.35 miles (with no walk breaks)

Week 6:  Tuesday – 5.51 miles (no walk breaks), Thursday – about 5 miles, Sunday – 1.18 miles

 

 

So of the 3 weeks I’m recapping here, only one of them is close to the “Plan”.  The rest are just me running based on how it feels and my schedule.  Week 6 I ran on Thursday while on a business trip, with 3 other coworkers at the buttcrack of dawn in 40 degree temperatures while not properly dressed for the weather with no tracking devices for time or distance.  I’m VERY proud of that run.  Then on Sunday…well…I got a side cramp from chugging water before leaving the house.  It’s my fault.

 

I’m in love with my new “hands-free” water bottle and the Energy Beans I mentioned in my last post.  They both work great!  I don’t eat as many beans as the instructions say to though because the amount of calories and caffeine in a whole pack of beans isn’t worth it for me.  Plus I can see results with only a few beans at time. 

 

I have already signed up for my 2^nd half marathon to take place one month after my first one.  Probably a stupid idea, but there’s nothing I can do about it now!

 

I’ve not been around on the internet a lot lately and there is a reason for that.  I’ve got some stuff going on that I’m not ready to talk about yet.  I’ll probably confess in my next post or the one after that,  We will see.

 

Hopefully ya’ll follow me on IG because I post a lot there and that will be the best way to stay up to date with my training runs.  

Xoxo

Star Wars Half Marathon Training: Weeks 2 & 3

Long story short…I suck at being consistent and following through with training.

 

I worked SO hard to create the perfect training schedule and set myself up perfectly to be prepared for my half marathon.  And here it is, day 22 of training  and I’ve pretty much done nothing but make excuses and whine. I even set up reminders on my calendar to write recap posts and haven’t completed those in a timely manner either.

 

Plan

Week 1: Monday-3 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-4 miles

Week 2: Monday-3 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-5 miles

Week 3: Monday-4 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-5.5 miles

Week 4: Monday-5 miles, Wednesday-30 min elliptical, Saturday-6.5 miles

 

Actual

Week 1: Monday-3 miles, Wednesday-3.5 miles

Week 2:  Tuesday-4 miles, Thursday-4 miles

Week 3:  Monday-27 min elliptical, Thursday-20 min elliptical, Saturday-2 miles

Week 4:  Nothing so far…planned to either run 4 miles or get on the elliptical tonight before dinner.

 

And the plan to get back to my “happy weight”….yea…no progress there at all.  Dropped a few pounds then gain the right back.  I’m tracking 5 days a week though and being pretty honest about it.  Or at least trying to.  It’s the weekends that really put a hitch in my giddy up. And beer…beer doesn’t help either.

 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I cannot get motivated and I can’t stop being negative.  EVERYTHING in my life I feel negative about. I’m sad and miserable for no reason at all.  I see it, and I hate it, but I’ve not done anything about it.  I keep hoping I’ll just wake up and be back to feeling happy and focused.  My social calendar has been fuller than I like lately too which hasn’t helped.  The husband and I had a chat last night and he agreed to help push me more and get me moving on the weekends instead of being lazy.  I just have to get the long run over with, then I have the rest of the weekend to relax and eat.  It’s all mental.  I need to get past this mental hurdle.  (Then the physical hurdles can begin….ugh…)

 

I’ve been posting a lot of my training stuff on Instagram to help keep myself accountable.  Mostly I think I am annoying my few followers because I’m such a “Negative Nancy”.  I love the positive comments and likes though.  It really makes me feel better about myself to know there are people who care.

 

It’s no wonder I have no friends IRL.  I’m horribly depressing and probably annoying to be around. Ugh.

 

On a more positive note, I was just informed that the new water bottle I ordered from Amazon has arrived.  I’m super excited about it. I bought a belt water bottle holder years ago, but didn’t like how it felt so I don’t wear it.  I’ve been running with a regular bottle in my hand for a while now, and it’s been a little annoying. And last week after I got bumped by a car on my silly 2 mile run (long story…see my IG...I’m fine…)  the husband asked me to carry my phone when I run in case something happens. So that inspired me to order one of the fancy hand held ones that have pockets. I might just go out and try it tonight on the road.  But maybe not…I’ll probably just make excuses and not do a dang thing…who knows…

 

I also ordered some energy beans that are supposed to be super great for mid-run pick-me-ups.  I’ll give those a shot on my next long run, whenever that is.  I don’t really like jelly beans, but of all the other options out there they seemed the least horrible.  Plus the little packets will fit nicely in the pocket of my new water bottle! I bought a whole case of them so hopefully they are worth it.  If not…maybe I’ll do a giveaway.

 

 

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Star Wars Half Training: Week 1

With the Star Wars Half in mid January and me not running since April, I knew that getting my training schedule started early would be important so September 1^st marked Day 1 of Half Marathon training for me. 

 

I actually had my running schedule booked into my Outlook calendar for several months now.  I planned ahead and took the time to schedule individual runs 3 days a week from September through January.  They are even specially color coded and contain lots of exclamation pointed reminders to get me motivated.

 

The First also marked my first day back to tracking seriously with Weight Watchers again.  For about the last year I have been half-assing it and tracking maybe 4 days a week (if at all).  My weight sucks right now, and I’m not happy about it.  I’m not in a bad place, and can get the weight back off easily, I just have to pay attention and work at it.  I’d like to be back to my “happy” weight in time for the half marathon, but I’m not going to stress on it too much.  I know when I amp up my training I will need more fuel to keep my body going so I can’t be full on “diet mode”.  I also don’t want the holidays and training to be an excuse to binge and eat all the things.  This week I made it 5 days of honest tracking….and then…well…I’ll explain later.

 

A lot of this training and the Half Marathon itself will be more mental for me than physical.  I’m very confident that my body will be able to take me across that finish line (as long as I take good care of it).  But it’s my mind that will be my biggest hurdle to overcome.  When I drew up my training calendar I did a lot of research and grabbed lots of other example schedules to work off of.  Many of them had the longest run being 10 or 11 miles prior to race day.  I didn’t like that.  I want to be able to know that my body can do a minimum of 13 miles before I set foot in California.  I also want to enjoy my time on the course too.  I’m paying a lot of money for this race, and I don’t want to be a miserable mess the entire time.  So I created my own training schedule and will run upwards of 13 miles several times prior to the official race.  I also don’t want to be self concious or unhappy with my body while running or posing for photos, so that’s another reason I want to drop some weight before the race too.  

 

So Monday I started with 3 miles (easy).  I told myself to go slow and just get into the groove of things.  I was also running in a brand new pair of shoes so I wanted to take it as easy as possible.  The husband tagged along for a bit on his bike which was nice.  The run was tough, but I got through it. 

 

Then Wednesday I had planned on spending 30 minutes on the elliptical but it was a beautiful sunny day so I opted to run instead.  Big mistake.  Huge.  I ran alone with my own thoughts to keep me company and spent the whole time just beating myself up.  I could feel my thighs rubbing together, I could see my muffin top in my shadow on the road in front of me, I felt people looking at me and judging me for how slow I was going.  It was just unhappy and uncomfortable.  I did almost 3.5 miles in over 40 minutes.  Back in April I was just about to break my record and run a 5k in under 30 min.  So yea, I beat myself up a lot over that.

 

Then the weekend hit and I had a bit of a mental breakdown and couldn’t get out of bed.  I tried. But I just couldn’t do it.  The husband had to physically drag me up and get me moving for our regularly scheduled “Date Night” on Saturday.  I barely made it.  I cried 3 times just trying to get dressed.  He took me to my favorite local brewery for dinner and beers followed by ice cream and that helped a little. (If you’re in the Portland area, you have to go to Salt & Straw for ice cream. It’s amazing. I can’t get enough.)  Sunday I didn’t even bother to try and run.  The husband didn’t event bother to make me. He could see I needed to hide from the world for anther day so brought me coffee in bed and let me be.  I’m still not back to myself yet, but I’m working on it.  Seriously people, dperession is real, and ugly, and hard. 

 

So today I will hit the pavement for 4 miles instead of the 3 that are planned to make up for the 4 that I didn’t do on Saturday.  Then Wednesday I will need to do 4 again.  I have plans to go to Seattle on Friday and Saturday so my long run of 5 miles will have to be done on Sunday.  Unless I get out of this slump and get super motivated, wake up at 6 AM on Friday, run 5 miles, shower, then get in my car before 8 to make it to Seattle by lunch time….we will see.  For now, this week is just about being gentle with myself which is easier said than done.

 

I’ve added a reminder to my calendar to write up quick recap posts for my training each week.  Mostly to keep myself accountable, but we will see how that goes.  We all know I suck at blogging on the regular.

 

xoxo

 

I need to quit my bitchin'...

The Internet gave me a much needed bitch slap this morning. 

The first thing I do every morning is catch up on what I missed on Twitter while I was sleeping. This morning, while sipping my coffee, eating a croissant with ham & cheese, I read 3 blog posts in a row talking about struggles with weight, both losing and keeping it off.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. My 2 year Thin-aversary is in a WEEK!

For the last year I have been whining and bitching about how I am struggling to get back to my lowest weight a measly little 5lbs from where I am today.

Why am I making such a big deal over this? My pants fit (they aren't even tight). I am within my 2lb Lifetime buffer zone.  I have a "healthy" BMI. I look in the mirror and love what I see.

So why the frack does that number on the scale bother me so much?  Seriously, why?

I'm not running or hitting the gym like I used to. I suck at tracking. If it really meant that much to me to be a certain number on the scale, I would be doing the things I know I need to do. Instead, I am eating moderately healthy, and beating myself up once a week when I step on the scale.

I really think it's okay though. I'm not out of control. Things are where they should be even if it isn't were I want it to be. The few times I have been up in a not so great range, I got it back down almost immediately.

Maybe my desire to be 5lbs lower than where I am at is actually what is helping me stay in the range I need to be in?  I don't know. But what ever is going on is obviously working so I need to STFU and keep doing it.

The point however is this...I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start feeling greatful. I need to not be such a twatwaffle because it could be much worse.
Anyway...

Here is a mid year update on the goals I set for myself in January:

2012 Goals:

1)  Get back to my "Happy Weight" and stay there! None of this up and down shit.:  See above.
2)  Maintain my 4.0 GPA: NOPE...3.9...Got a B in International Dynamics. Don't get me started.
3) Run the 8k Shamrock Run (not the 15k like I really want, I am just not ready...maybe 2013) - March: Done
4)  Race for the Roses 5k- April (Found out they have a 10k...thinking on this one...):  Nope, but did the Bridge to Brews 10k instead
5) Personal - May: Next week....gulp!
6) Portland to Coast - August: Have a team, and race is on schedule!
7) Race for the Cure 5k - September:  Need to register
8) Graduate from College - December:  Still on schedule
9)  Go to Cleveland for Christmas - December:  Plane tickets purchased and added a week in Disney to the end of the trip.
11) Blog at least once a month:  Didn't post in June.
12) Finally convince the folks at Weight Watchers to fly me to New York and make me an official Success Story. (yea,yea, this one is a LONG shot...but a girl can dream, right?):  Not yet, but I will begin drafting my 2 year Thin-aversery email tomorrow for sending on the 19th.
13) Attend a Weight Watchers meeting AT LEAST once a month, earning a new Key in December:  Still on track.

That's all I have for now. Sorry I don't have any pictures. Next month will have a LOT of pictures in the PTC post.

Oh, and I have a race on the 22nd. A 4 miler that I signed up for because it has a race medal. I want a damn medal!  I haven't run since May 27th. I imagine the race will not go well.

XOXO

30 days later...

Well, my month of My Fitness Pal is officially over.  I stuck with it and only missed a few days of tracking. 

I have to say, the first week was really tough. I struggled a lot with being hungry.  After the first week, it got easier and by the end of the month, hunger was barely an issue.

I missed eating "free" fruits and veggies quite a bit. One big lesson I learned during this month was that I eat WAY too much fruit. I was eating about 600 calories a day of just fruit/veggies alone. I used to say all the time that no one ever got fat from eating bananas, but as it turns out...I was on my way to doing just that!

Another thing that I learned was that I wasn't tracking honestly on WW. A long time ago I chose to not track my daily coffee w/cream as well as my alcohol consumption. I also didn't track my activity and in my head these two balanced each other out. Turns out that wasn't happening at all. After eating 600 extra calories of fruit, I was drinking an average of 400 calories a night in beer/wine.  (Disclaimer: I didn't drink EVERY night...but when I did drink...I DRANK. Hence why I said "average".) 

I liked that this challenge got me back to weighing and measuring everything I ate. I really was slacking with that the last year. I also liked that my calories burned for each day were cashed in immediately for food. That saved me a lot of times when I would want to eat something or not want to work out.  Granted, I didn't work out every day, but I did increase my level of activity quite a bit.

So...How did I do?

3-Apr: 152.0 (Starting weight)

10-Apr: 150.4 = -1.6

17-Apr: 149.2 = -1.2

24-Apr: 148.8 = -0.4

1-May: 149.4 = +0.6

8-May: 147.8 = -1.6

Overall, 4.2lbs lost!  I will take that! 

This is the lowest I have weighed since July. I am about 6lbs away from my ideal weight which I was at exactly a year ago from today.

I have decided to stick with MFP for awhile longer.  I really like it and it is working for me right now.

I hope all of my WW friends understand that this decision has NOTHING to do with WW. I love, love, LOVE WW and always will. The program works and is amazing. WW changed my life. I lost 68 lbs on WW (well,technically 58 since I gained 10lbs back), and will continue to go to meetings and do my monthly Lifetime check ins.

Does this make sense?

My birthday is at the end of this month and I am running my 2nd 10k that morning to celebrate. I'm super excited. I need to plan an outfit to make it known that it's my birthday! (Can I attach birthday balloons to myself?)

Please, if you read my blog and like it...nag me to post more often. This once a month crap is silly.

xoxox

Lifetime Update; Week ending 02/06/2011

For what I was expecting to be an uneventful week, it turned into a pretty eventful one after all.  Let me begin by mentioning that I gained this week.  Just a little tiny .8 that I am not even upset about.  I knew it was going to happen, and I am over it.  Big deal.  Moving on.

I had some major success this week on the treadmill that I am super proud of.  I not only got my ass on it twice, but each time I ran a little farther and a little faster!  I got myself a little motivation with the Shamrock Run coming up in March so that is helping a lot!  I even signed KT up for the fitness walk portion of the 5k so she can chase my ass down the streets of Portland with her stroller.  I haven't yet decided if I will allow her to poke me with a sharp stick, or beat me with a horse whip to get me to run faster, we will have to see how well my attempt at training goes before making that decision! 

I gained this week mostly because I ate every single point I could get my grubby little hands on.  I am sure that I underestimated on many of the things that I ate as I didn't measure or weigh most of what I ate as my scale broke forever ago and I am yet to replace it.  I had a few big meals that pushed me over the edge, mostly being the amazing Blue Velvet Burger at my favorite local burger joint.  I have no clue how many points it is, as it contains an ungodly amount of both blue cheese crumbles and blue cheese dressing.  I guesstimated as best I could, but believe you me, I enjoyed every last bite of that wonderful burger.  In fact, I should have stopped eating it about half way thru but burgers make terrible leftovers.  And those wonderful thin little crunchy awesome fries that come with it....yea, they are bottomless...but I only had the portion pictured.  I wanted more...but I controlled myself...as much as I possibly could under the circumstances.  I blame my entire overindulgent blue cheese dripping experience on KT.  She made the terrible mistake of planning her day in such a way that she could get some fast food andand still have points left to spare! And then, she had the audacity to text me about how excited she was about being on a plan that allowed her to have a cheeseburger with fries for dinner!  So because she put it into my head, I had to have a cheeseburger and fries for dinner as well.  Unfortunately, I wasn't as dilligent at planning as her and went over my points for the day.  Not to worry, I punished her for her mistake...well...that isn't true...I haven't punished her yet...I am waiting until she least expects it, then I will spring it on her.  She is quite tough so I have to get at her when her defences are down or I will end up hurting myself. 
I also had our big annual Chili Cook-off at work on Friday, which I never win, but always enter.  I took some great photos of my chili making process for a future post.  I love making low point Weight Watchers chili.  It is so quick and easy and just plain satisfying!  I make mine with lots of beans and peppers and of course ground turkey!  I did win in the Best Name category for my chili, but since I didn't pick the name, I don't really count it and I gave the prize to the person who named it for me.  (She called it Double Bonus Bean Chili since it had two types of beans, black and kidney, and we got two bonuses this year.)

KT and I have started a lovely tradition of going to Subway for lunch on Fridays (this week we went on Thursday due to the chili thing) which I love.  We walk there since it is only a few blocks from the office.  It gives us a great chance to break away and get some activity in, while splitting a healthy lunch.  Since foot longs are back to $5 each we get one and split it!  I really love eating our sammies and laughing together for an hour at then end of the week.  It is a really great way to wrap up the week and get the weekend started on the right foot!

Speaking of the weekend, as many of you know by now, Sunday was the Super Bowl.  Personally, I could give less than two shits about football.  (Have you ever thought about how stupid that saying is?  Less than two shits?  Wouldn't that be one shit?  Just stupid.)  KT's mother and step-dad came to town and she invited me and the Man over to watch the game.  She made a whole spread of Weight Watcher food and had a spreadsheet pulled up on her computer with the points and serving size for each item.  We had the Salsa Chicken that I posted a recipe for a while back, with all the fixin's, including these super cute 100 cal (1 pt+) packets of guacamole which were super delish, beans, taquitos, queso dip, and I brought a tray of crudites, fruit salad and 1 Pt+ mini cupcakes.  We all ate until we were stuffed and then plopped in front of the TV to enjoy some football.  (And by 'We all', I mean they did.  I brought homework and watched the commercials and the terrible half time show.) 

KT earned her very first, and very big NSV (non-scale victory) on Sunday and she was super proud of herself for not over indulging on junk like she usually does on Super Bowl Sunday.  I say she was proud...because...well...she had her first gain this week.  It was a big traumatic event for her and I think she is pretty calm about it now, but she cried all through our meeting today, and I am sure most of the afternoon as well.  It took her a while to come to terms with it as she felt the need to find some thing to blame the gain on.  Which I think is normal and natural.  We walked through it together and I gave her some tough love, and some actual love to get it all smoothed out.

The thing about this gain, though small, was that it was totally unexpected.  She did everything right during the week.  She ate all her daily points, a good portion of her weeklies, and she got in some activity every day.  She tracked.  She portioned.  She planned.  She did it all!  And she was still up a small fraction of a pound.  The hardest question I think any Weight Watcher leader, or supporter has to answer is "I did everything right, why didn't the plan work?"  I pulled out every little thing I could think of to help her feel better, but none of it worked.  We looked over her tracker.  We talked about maybe she was eating the wrong things, or even not eating enough during the day to save points for dinner.  I sought out some solluce for her on Twitter and our Leader and a Receptionist pulled her aside to offer some help.  In the end, it came down to the fact that sometimes, these things happen and there is nothing we can do about it but keep trying.  Overall, I think it worked.  She told me earlier that she feels much better about it.  I think she is lying a little, but that is fine.  I know she won't quit the plan, and I know she will continue to work just as hard as before.  This little gain won't derail her!  (Big thanks go out to all of you that reached out to KT on Twitter and offered her some feedback.  I know it meant a lot to her, and to me!)

In closing, if any of you have any words of wisdom that helped you thru a gain, either expected or unexpected, leave them as a comment!  I would love to hear them! (And so would KT!)

Lifetime Update; Week ending 1/30/2011

Scale said I broke even this week which is just fine by me.  I am just slightly above my lowest recorded weight in history so whatever I am doing must be working!  What am I doing?  Duh, tracking, measuring, counting, drinking tons of water, and eating lots of fruits and veggies.  (Seriously, that was a stupid question.)  However, last week I did get on the treadmill and go for a run.  Not just once.  But TWICE!  HA! 

I had lots of hurdles last week that contributed to me only maintaining and not losing.  (Yes, I AM trying to lose still.  I have some vanity pounds I need to work off.  Plus, I feel like a total pig if I have to eat the extra 6 pts+ a day I get when I am on Maintenance!)  I wrote down every BLT (Bite, Lick, Taste...NOT the sandwich, but if I ate one of those, I would write that down too!  Mmmmmmm, bacon!) and tracked everything I put in my mouth that I probably should have passed on.  Monday was a 2nd glass of wine.   Thursday was pizza AND taco bell (I had a 20 pt+ Nacho Bell Grande and it was worth it).  Saturday was beer and pizza at a birthday party (Tracker says bowling for 120 minutes is 9 AP but I think that is hooey.  Also, I think it is illegal to earn AP while consuming beer and pizza.  And if it isn't illegal, it should be...remind me to draft a strongly worded letter to my Congress-person later).  And Sunday was a traditional German dinner at my parents.  (If anyone feels like finding out how many pts+ is in Leberkneudlesuppe, I would be interested to know...Liver, bread, eggs and parsley balled up and boiled in beef broth...YUM!)  I have leftover pizza and kneudle in the fridge so this week will be just as challenging.

KT had a pretty great loss this week, but if you were to ask her about it she would say it was crap.  Down 1.6!  She was really disappointed and wanted to see a bigger loss.  I could tell at the meeting that she wasn't really paying too much attention as I could hear the gears of negative self talk grinding in her head.  On our way out of the meeting she wiped away some hidden tears that she doesn't think I saw and tried to keep the conversation on other things.  However, I verbally assaulted her for the whole drive back to the office after our meeting.  It went something like this:

Me:  I don't understand why you are so upset.  1.6 is a great loss for your 2nd week!  WW recommends 1-2lbs a week so you are right where you should be.
KT:  I know, but I thought with the big loss last week (6 lbs) and being really good this week that I would have seen at least 2 down.  And my husband lost like FIFTY-TWO pounds last week, which isn't fair.
Me:  Don't be stupid, he didn't lose 52 lbs.  And he is a dude.  Dudes lose weight faster.  Stop comparing yourself to him.  Let's just worry about you, and let him worry about himself and his obvious eating disorder or worms that enables him to lose 50 lbs in an effing week. 
KT:  Idiot, I was exaggerating.  He didn't really lose 52 lbs.
Me: Whatever, bite me. Okay so, did you eat all your points?
KT:  Yes, I ate all of my DP and about 20 of my WP.
Me:  Were you doing activity?
KT:  Yes, I did my yoga and pilates every night.  My muscles are the good kind of sore.  It feels really great.
Me:  Sounds like you are doing all the right things.  So, really, the problem is that you set your mind on a number that you had no control over and are now beating yourself up over it.  You are sitting there thinking "I shoulda done this, or I coulda done that" feeling bad and punishing yourself over it!  Even though you might not like the loss, it is still a loss.  A GREAT loss!  Stop being so stupid and be fricken happy for yourself!  And don't you dare go and push yourself toward a larger loss by cutting back on your points because I will find out and punch you in the face.
KT:  I dare you to punch me.  I would murder you.
Me:  Bitch, I ain't scared of you.  Bring it.
KT:  You are stupid.
Me:  No, you are stupid.  See that guy right there, he thinks you are hot and wants to boink you.  He told me.
KT:  He must have a big doink, he is tall and skinny.
Me:  He also has a big nose, which would be helpful for fellatio.
KT:  Yes, I am SURE his big nose, helps with sucking cock.
Me:  Oh, shit, I meant, cunnilingus. 
KT:  I am outta here...talk at you later.

Okay, so we got a little off track there at the end, but you get the point.  And if you don't get the point and are still giggling about cunnilingus (don't worry, I am too) than here is the moral of the story.

Don't beat yourself up over something you can't control!  Eat the the right foods, get in some activity, stay within your points budget and let the plan do all the work!  Eventually, if you keep working at it, and keep focused, the weight WILL come off!  WW is NOT an overnight fix.  AND, getting all upset over things, will only make it worse!  Over my time with WW, I saw lots of ups and downs.  More downs than ups, but it was still a bumpy ride!  Some weeks will be huge fantastic losses, some will be little ones, and others will show a gain.  BUT, when you add all that up, in the end, it is STILL a negative number, which is what matters most!

In other news, as noted previously, I got my lazy ass on the treadmill twice last week.  I did under 2 miles each time, but I did it, so that is what counts.  I made up a chart for the Man and I with each day of the year and a box to check off if we did treadmill or weights that day.  I hung it on the pantry door which faces the treadmill to use as motivation (or as we discussed at the WW meeting today, an Anchor).  I also like it being on the pantry because it is on the door of the snack side of the pantry to if I go for a treat my lack of activity checks will be staring me in the face. 

I also found out that my step-sister started WW a few weeks ago.  I reached out to her to see if she would like any support or advice but I haven't heard back.  Which is just as well,  because as KT might tell her,  my support is more like threats and perverted jokes, so she really isn't missing much! 

This week will hopefully be much smoother, so I am hoping to achieve my new official lowest weight ever.  No biggs if it doesn't happen though, I will just keep trying!   I will be sure to get on the treadmill at least twice this week just as last week and have 7 chapters to read for school in two weeks.  I plan on spending quite a bit of time over the weekend in bed doing that reading and I can't tell you how excited I am by that plan!

Sorry, no pictures this week. 

I suck. 

Whatever. 

Bite me.

Lifetime Update: 6 months, 1 week and counting...

WOW, I had an amazing week last week!

Starting on Monday when went with my awesome friend KT to her first Weight Watchers meeting. It was so exciting to get her all started! I really enjoyed the meeting we went to and I feel really good about switching to Monday afternoons versus Monday evenings. The leader is really nice and energetic and hands out more stickers, which my old leader never did. I feel like I need to wear a "I am a Lifetime member" t-shirt so people don't just sit there and stare at the skinny chick like I am invading their party. I carry my gold book around and try to make it as obvious as possible. I have yet to speak up in this meeting, but I will soon. KT really got into the program this week and did awesome. I only had to lecture her once about eating all her points! She even went out and bought a Pilates machine off of Craig's list so she can start getting some more activity in, and did yoga several time on her own! And here is the best part...SHE LOST 6 POUNDS!!!! I can't tell you how proud I am of her! I wanted to follow her behind the partition and look over her shoulder why she weighed. My heart was doing flip flops and I almost teared up! She is such an amazing person, and with a 5 month old beautiful baby girl at home, she really wants to do this for her daughter so she can be an even better mother than she already is! He husband it on board with the program too and doing it right beside her which is also awesome. He lost 15 pounds this week! KT got her first ever 5 lb star at our meeting today and I couldn't have been prouder! She is going to rock this program and will make my success look like nothing in comparison!



I was pretty successful on the scale as well with a 2.4 lb loss at my meeting. I am now .2 lbs over my lowest recorded weight. I am super excited about this especially with the amount of food roadblocks that were thrown at me this week! I really love it when I have a lot of things appear on my calendar that have food associated with them and I still have a loss. It really proves to me how much WW really is designed for an active social life!



On Tuesday I had dinner at an old coworkers house and budgeted some points for ice cream cake for dessert. I tapped into some weeklies and had a slice of chocolate cake at a work thing on Tuesday too. On Thursday I went to a jewellery party and avoided the cookies and stayed with in my points by dipping veggies into hummus instead of ranch dip!

I got a great prezzie from one of my friends this week and it made me super happy, but also a little disappointed at the same time.  As many of you know, I LOVE the Eiffel Tower.  I collect them like crazy.  If it has an Eiffel Tower on it, I want it.  The weirder the item the better.  I have tons of stuff, including a lamp, clock, salt and pepper shakers, sink drain, cookie cutter, candles, and even an antique ash tray! Because of my addiction, people pick up Eiffel Towers for me when ever they see them in unique locations.  My awesome friend TG picked this one up for me:

It is a toast impression maker!  You press it onto the bread, then when you toast it, the pattern shows up making it French Toast...get it...FRENCH toast!!  And to top it off, it is pink!!  If it had glitter on it, it would be the holy trifecta of awesome!  However, my joy was quickly snuffed out when I realized on key fact.  I don't own bread.  TG bugged me for pictures of my fancy French toast but I haven't bought real bread in so long, that I keep forgetting!  I have been to the grocery store 3 times since I received this present and have yet to remember to buy bread.  It just isn't something I buy anymore.  I dont' know why.  I love bread.  I love sandwiches.  I am just so used to passing on them since I can find better uses for the points!  Now that I have this nifty gadget though, I need to get myself a loaf to play with! 


I had my first day of school on Friday, and it went pretty well. I really like my school a lot and I am looking forward to taking more classes there! I crack myself up about it too, because when anyone has asked me how school went, the first thing out of my mouth is "My tuition includes breakfast and lunch for my Saturday classes!" Not how great my professor is, or how interesting I find the topic, but food is the priority! And, you know what, the food was really good and really healthy! I avoided the muffins and stuck with fruit and coffee for breakfast, along with the oatmeal I had grabbed at Starbucks not knowing they would have breakfast there. For lunch I filled half my plate with salad, and the rest with steamed green beans and roast chicken! They also had a rice thing, but I avoided it as I knew I wouldn't scoop a correct portion and I didn't know how to track it even if I did. It was great!

I also had a pretty large NSV (Non Scale Victory) on Sunday! This NSV has a story behind it, so bear with me here. When I was at my largest, prior to signing up for Weight Watchers, I went into Victoria's Secret for some new bras. I was suffering from major elastic stretch out and I had a lot of boob over flowing the top of my cup. Of course, since I was in denial about my weight, I just assumed it was my boobs getting bigger. My husband was with me, and I went to the girl in the dressing room and asked her to remeasure me to figure out a good size then I got one of their boxes of sample bras that has all of their styles and brought it into the dressing room. I tried on every single one of them. None of them fit or were flattering. It was terrible. I went back to the girl that sized me and when she asked how things went I said that none of them were comfortable and I still had boob overflow on most of them. Then she said something to me that has haunted me ever since, "Maybe you should try a more specialty store like Lane Bryant. They may have more options for a person your size." I immediately burst into tears and ran, not kidding, RAN out of the store and out of the mall. I called the store manager the next day and complained and the girl was written up. The manager was appalled that the girl would say that to me, especially since I did NOT wear that large of a size. (Sorry, I am not telling you here, what my bra size is/was. Use your imagination.) Since I was in complete denial of my actual size and I had never set foot in a Lane Bryant before I was convinced that they would have nothing for me there. I just sucked it up and continued with my current bras until Victoria's had their Semi-Annual Sale and I ordered bras online. Because I was utterly terrified to go back into Victoria's and get called a fatty again, I just always shopped online. Except for last year, in July when my bras actually started to fall off of me did I go into the store to get measured. That experience was super traumatic too, but not as bad as the prior one. A lot of girls, pride themselves on their bra size, and I was one of them for a long time. I used to think my knockers were one of my best features. Well, boobs are made of fat, and when you lose weight, you lose boob. It is a fact of life. So when I found out my new bra size, I cried. Stood half naked in the dressing room and cried. I left the store, once again, in tears and bought online so that no one would know how small my new boobs were, and how padded my new bras were! Okay, so the point of my story is this: I got a gift card for Victoria's Secret for Christmas, and yesterday, I spent all of it. In store. On panties. IN A SIZE MEDIUM!! (Also, don't even get me started on the skanky panties they are marketing at tweens in that store! Holy hell, it was gross! Do teenage girls REALLY need a thong with 'I heart French Kissing' written in glitter across the back? Also, that the hell is the point of the puckering that they put on the ass crack of their panties now?  Like I need any help giving myself a wedgie!) And for the record: I still hate that store. I still feel uncomfortable walking in there. I wouldn't shop there if I didn't have a gift card.

After shopping, I went on a date with my husband to California Pizza Kitchen which I had never been to before. I have no clue how many points+ my pizza was and I don't really care to look. I had the points for it, and I sill lost this week, so obviously I didn't go over board. I got a lovely whole wheat thin crust called "The Four Seasons" (I think) with artichokes, Italian pepperoni, mushrooms, and onions. I stopped myself in the restaurant and only ate half, the other half was eaten in bed later on in the evening followed by some reduced fat ice cream and a piece of peanut brittle. I enjoyed it, and didn't over indulge. I am perfectly fine with my choices!

Overall, even though my wonderful husband was away for work all week, it was a pretty great week!  This week is going to be pretty great too though.  I don't have any big plans, but I will find some way to occupy my time!  I am doing terrible at getting my ass on my treadmill so I really need to work on that!

Lifetime Update: 6 Months!!

At the end of the day yesterday it occurred to me what yesterday was! My six month anniversary as a Weight Watchers Lifetime member! Which means, that I have maintained my weighloss successfully for the last 6 months. (Well, technically more than that since I reached my goal in June, then got Lifetime status 6 weeks later.)

I must confess that maintaining the loss is a hell of a lot harder than the actual losing part! They don't tell you that in meeting or in any of the plan materials. There is no magic attached to the Lifetime keyring they give you that makes all the weight stay off. Really, it doesn't happen, I swear.

I mentioned in my last post that I was having dinner with an old co-worker who is also on Weight Watchers and when the bread was passed around and I passed on it, her daughter said something to me and my response really stuck with me because it was not only profound, but completely true. What she said to me was, "Can't you have bread now that you are on Lifetime? I mean, you aren't fat anymore so why not, right? And honestly, I don't remember you ever being that fat." I smiled at her and gave her my usual speech I give anyone when they tell me to vary from my eating plan, "I compare my weightloss struggle to that of an alcoholic. I am addicted to food, just as an alcoholic is addicted to booze. Just like an alcoholic I went to rehab and beat my dependence. But I am still an addict and will always be one. Sure, one slice of bread won't kill me or cause me to gain all my weight back, but from experience, one slice leads to 3 slices, which leads to a 2 week binge and 10 lbs. Plus, I was told there is ice cream cake for dessert, and I would rather indulge on that!" Sure, I could have said, "You are right, I am not fat anymore, I can eat what I want! Pass the bread, and I am gonna need more butter than what is on the table", but that is the exact thinking that would get me right back to where I started! And she was wrong, I WAS that fat, but most importantly, I was unhealthy and sad.

That whole conversation basically summed up my biggest lesson I learned these last 6 months. I will always, everyday, for the rest of my life have to pay attention to my eating and my weight. Yea, that thought kindof sucks, but which is worse, paying attention and staying thin, or not paying attention and getting fat again? Sure, I can have days where I don't care, and I indulge and let myself loose. However, those occasions have to be rare and controlled!

For example: I spent 10 days with my husband, mother, and step-dad in Disney World in December (I know, I know, I promised to blog about it, and I haven't yet...I will...as soon as I get the pics loaded onto my new computer. And about the countless other blogs I have promised to write...Yea, I will get to them too...eventually...) and I told myself I would enjoy my trip, not over indulge, but not pass up things I wanted, but still make healthy decisions. We stocked up the fridge in the hotel with healthy breakfast items so we started our day out right with yogurt, fruit, bagel thins and coffee. We planned to eat late lunches/early dinners in the parks and then have dessert/cocktails later in the evening. I ate what I felt like I wanted at restaurants. One day I had steak and potatoes, another was pan seared fish over mushroom risotto. I had a glass of wine just about every night with dinner, or in the room before bed while we planned out our next day. I had a huge cone of orange/pineapple swirl soft serve one day, and a warm chocolate filled beignet another. We went to the beach, I had cheese grits with bacon and shrimp, and on the same day I ate exactly 6 Dunkin Donut munckins with my coffee for breakfast. On our last day, I split a deep fried, fat filled funnel cake covered with powdered sugar and chocolate syrup with my husband. After 10 days of eating my little heart out on all the yummy amazingness that Disney has to offer, you know what happened? Yea, I lost 4 lbs!! Shocker, I know. You know how I managed to do that without depriving myself? Planning, walking around Epcot all day, making good choices, planning, walking around Magic Kingdom all day, planning, splitting desserts with my mom or husband, and walking up the stairs to my hotel room.

So, does that mean I can start eating all that on a regular basis and stay at the weight I am now? Uh, HELL NO! Unless I want to spend 16 hours a day walking around at the same pace as my crazy speed demon mother every-damn-day! Was it okay to do for 10 days while on vacation? Sure! Did I go to the store and stock up on my usual yogurt, bananas, and baby carrots the day we got back? You bet your ass I did! Am I still shocked as shit that I lost 4 lbs in freaking Disney World? YES!

So, in conclusion, here are my key lessons for maintaining weight loss:

Don't go back to old eating habits.
Don't forget about the fat chick hiding deep down who is just dying to come out and play.

Make healthy choices, while still enjoying small indulgences.

Go to meetings at least once a month.

Get on the scale weekly! And if the number is not pretty, do something about it quickly!

Plan, plan, plan.

Buy clothes that are so nice that you don't want to grow out of them.

Grocery shop weekly for fresh fruits and veggies.

Pack breakfast, lunch, and an emergency snack everyday to bring to work.

Keep an emergency snack within reach at all times (for example, I keep a snack bar, or some Popchips in my glove box)

Pay attention to hunger signals. Stop at satisfied, NOT at stuffed.

Eat breakfast. Every day. No matter what.

Know your emotional eating triggers and DON"T FEED THEM!

Get off your ass and DO something.  Take a walk, ride a bike, vacuum the hallway, just something other than nothing.