A while back I got asked to join a kickball team with some people from work. The timing was just perfect as kickball would start just a few weeks after my dragon boating ended. I was looking for another activity to take up time and get me out of the house so I gladly signed up and sent off my $45 registration fee to join the team. To say I was excited was an understatement. It would be my first real team sport. Plus, as an added bonus it would be a great opportunity for me to maybe get some actual friends. In my head I pictured the team being all laughs and fun, with get-togethers after the games to celebrate our wins, lots of high-fives, cheering and team spirit.
Boy, was I wrong.
So very very wrong.
Prior to our first game the league sent everyone on the team our schedule and the handbook with all the rules. Of course, I read that thing cover to cover because rules are important and I knew very little about kickball to begin with. I also added all the games to my work calendar so it was prioritized on my schedule. I showed up early for the first game and was ready to rock.
But I was the only one…
Our “team captain” had never played the game before, didn’t read the handbook, had no idea how to organize players on the field or the kicking list and basically had no clue what she was doing. She only started the team because it sounded like fun. And I totally understand that, taking a risk and trying something new is awesome. But come on, do the research, figure it all out, and come prepared. Especially when others are depending on you and financially invested in it.
So the whole season went along just like that first game. We were scheduled for a total of 6 games. 2 games we didn’t have enough female players show up. 1 game we didn’t have enough male players. 1 game it rained and only 4 people showed up. The league requires a minimum of 4 males and 4 females to play a game. We had 6 females on our team. Of those 6, I was the only one who showed up to all the games. One person showed up 20 minutes late to half the games, one person only showed up to ONE game and annoyed everyone so much we were glad she didn’t come back. The “team captain” missed 4 games and didn’t play in one of the games she showed up to due to a headache (or some stupid shit excuse…I can’t exactly remember but it pissed me off).
Our team was unorganized and just a mess. The other girls on the team put forth no effort (except one who was also super disappointed in how things were going) so the boys had to work extra hard to compensate. This really frustrated me because I wanted to participate and play hard, but the boys just assumed I was worthless and played like I was invisible. Sure, I missed most of the fly balls that came at me, but I still tried to catch them. Jumping front of me screaming “I’ve got it, get out of the way” is no way to play a game and be part of a team. Sure we all want to win, but I’m also there to have fun and participate. After a while I started to get snobby about it with side comments to the boys after then cut me out of a play. “I was trying for that ball you know” or “You could have thrown it to me, I was right there”. I spent most of the game just focused on keeping my sanity instead of enjoying myself.
And the suckiest part about all of this is that we were actually pretty good! For the games that people actually showed up, we won. And our last game when we had just enough players to play with the minimum and the other team had like 15 people we slaughtered them.
Yesterday was the first game of the semi-finals. My team was in 5th place. I didn’t go to the game. Once again, not enough people showed and my team was forced to forfeit and lost. We are now out of the finals and are done for the season. I missed the game out of stupid petty anger and no other reason. I feel super guilty about it. I could have gone to the game. But I didn’t. I felt inconvenienced by the last minute notification of the game itself and I wasn’t prepared for it. The husband would have had to reorganize his day to not only bring me clothes to change into but he would have to drive me to and from the game as well. (The one time he drives me to work because he needs my car…I actually would have needed my car…jeez).
I’m trying to keep my sanity and not get all bent out of shape and never join a team again. This team may have been a fluke, but who knows. I already don’t like people enough as it is. It feels like every time I try to branch out with human interaction I get burned. Maybe the lesson here is in fact to continue to avoid humans. I just don’t know. I’m also peeved about the money. To others $45 may not be that much, but with my husband not working it’s a big deal to us. When I put my money on the table that’s a big thing. The girl that only showed up for 1 game also paid the same amount…I guess to her money means nothing and you can just waste it by not showing up. That’s not how I roll. I want to get my money’s worth. (Which is why I need to not be around buffets or open bars.)
Last week I was asked to join a softball team. I looked at the schedule and I would miss 3 games due to my vacation schedule in August. So I turned down the offer! I wish everyone else did that too. It would make me feel less like an ass-face for actually giving a shit. And it would make others look less like ass-faces for NOT giving a shit.
But here is my advice for all of you: When you sign up to do something ACTUALLY DO IT. When you commit, be 110% committed. Don’t half ass your commitment when others are depending on you.
Sorry for all the Negative Nancy rambling…I needed to get that off my chest…
xoxo
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