Monday, November 26, 2012

26 days and counting...

Vacation is less than a month away.  I cannot express how much I am in need of it. I'm losing my mind and need a break. Like whoa.

Anyway, the plan to get back on track was a moderate success.

Monday: On plan, did small exercises before bed.

Tuesday: On plan (challenged with cake, but re-adjusted my food plans to accommodate a small slice), did small exercises before bed.

Wednesday: On plan (had wine and snacked on Velveeta while prepping for Thanksgiving). No exercise.

Turkey-Day: Didn't track.  Only had one serving of each item on the table. Servings were "one scoop" and I went heavy on the turkey. Had 3 bites of apple pie. Lots of wine. Exercise was standing in line for an hour at Target with the husband buying video games.

Friday: Didn't track. Sat in bed and ate small portions of whatever I felt like having...which included potato chips, frozen cookie dough, twizzlers, and cheese. No exercise.

Saturday: Didn't track. Ate okay though. No exercise.

Sunday: Didn't track. Ate okay. No exercise.

And the result?  Scale said 152.2 this morning! Down 2! Not bad!

The food plan for this week:

Monday: Usual Bfast, turkey sammie for lunch, bratwurst with green beans & pierogie for dinner.
Tuesday: Usual Bfast, turkey sammie for lunch, salad at school for dinner, glass of wine after.
Wednesday: Usual Bfast, turkey sammie for lunch, turkey soup for dinner
Thursday: Usual Bfast, Pad Thai?, upside down nachos for dinner
Friday: Usual Bfast, turkey sammie for lunch, undecided on dinner.
Saturday: ???

Other items of interest that I am thinking about today:
1) Pissed at Jessica Simpson for her "Smoothie Cleanse" while promoting Weight Watchers
2) Ordering my shoes for graduation. So hot.
3) Still need a dress for graduation.
4) Pick up graduation regalia on Tuesday. SUPER pissed that I didn't get into the honor's program.
5) Drafting a strongly worded letter to the owner of the real estate agency that my agent belongs to.
6) PMS sucks ass. I have the angries like whoa.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Vacation Countdown = Time to Focus!

On my last post I mentioned how school and moving have been keeping me crazy busy. I also mentioned that my eating and weight were "under moderate control" and that once the move was over I would go back to my routine again.  Well that was a big effing lie.

As those who follow on Twitter already know, the purchase of our dream house fell through in the final hours. I'm not going to go into detail about it because I just don't want to. I've dealt with those emotions and moved on. Nothing can be done to change it or make it better, it just is what it is.  We are currently living in the master bedroom of my Mother in Law's house which I am eternally grateful for.  We plan to start looking for another house in January when things calm down. (I had a full plate of Eggs Benedict with hash browns for lunch and a Kit-Kat bar for breakfast if anyone feels like calculating my day out in it's entirety.)

Because I am huge on routine, and we are still living out of boxes and suitcases I have been using that as an excuse to just put whatever food I can find into my mouth. I am now 2.5lbs into the "Overweight" category of my BMI and 2.5lbs above my Lifetime weight for Weight Watchers.  Which puts me a grand total of 9.2lbs above the weight I am comfortable at.  I hate it.  I officially feel gross. My pants are tight. They zip and button, but it isn't flattering. I'm self conscious and uncomfortable. I'm unhappy with my naked self.

And then last happened....

I ate an ENTIRE Large Pepperoni pizza from Papa Murphy's. By myself.  I ate it so fast and with such fury that my wonderful husband didn't have a chance to grab a piece and was forced to make himself a separate dinner as I ate ours in its entirety.  For those of you interested, I ate 74 Points Plus worth of pizza in under 10 minutes and I washed it down with a beer.

I am now humiliated and horrified by my behaviour. This HAS to stop. And it HAS to stop now.

I have made fake-ass attempts at getting back on track for the last few weeks.  The first week I tracked one day, the second I tracked 3 days, and last week I tracked 1.  I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in a month.

In 32 days I get on a plane and fly home to Ohio to see friends and family whom I haven't seen in years. Last they saw me I weighed about 175. Impressing them with my skinny-ass isn't important. I just want to FEEL good about myself in my clothes. After a week in Cleveland we are taking a road trip to Disney World where I want to walk around feeling great and eating what I want without guilt.

I have spent most of the day going back and forth between thinking about homework and thinking about how chubby I am and have come up with the following plan:
  1. Lose 8lbs by the time I step on the plane on the 21st.  That's 5 weeks/32 days away. 1.6lbs per week is doable and healthy. (It would be 1.84/week for the 9.2 but that just seemed scary.)
  2. Track EVERY DAY - no excuses and honestly
  3. Do some sort of activity EVERY DAY - no excuses
    1. Find workout videos to do on the internet
    2. Since my Garmin is lost in storage - map our a walk/run route in the neighborhood
  4. I wrote on my hand the number of pounds I want to lose in a Mickey to keep my mind on my goals. (Likely moving it to my wrist as it is drawing unwanted attention from coworkers.)
  5. Thanksgiving can kiss my fat ass. I can eat that junk any time of the year so there is NO reason to overindulge.  I will have small portions, drink responsibly, and pass on the pumpkin pie (yuck!).
  6. Other events coming up I have to worry about regarding food:  Graduation Banquet, Graduation Party, Work Holiday Party 1, Work Holiday Party 2, Work Holiday Party 3. Individual plans will be developed closer to those event dates.
  7. Blog weekly about my success/failures.
  8. Discuss plan with Man & ask him to help hold me accountable.
I can do this. I have to. I'm amazing.