Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I'm Struggling...

I have been writing this post in my head for a while now.  I just haven't had the guts to actually write it and announce that I am struggling. (Hence why I haven't posted since April either.)

A lot has happened in the last few months which has led up to my current struggles.

School kept me really busy, but I managed straight A's.  

My birthday was the end of May and I turned....30...ugh.  

I bought myself a fancy running nerd-bag to hold water bottles and my inhaler, and my husband got my a fancy Garmin 305.  I spent a lot of June outside running, but didn't improve my time or distance so I got discouraged and haven't gone on a serious run in weeks.

Needless to say, my eating has been total garbage.  I am out of control.  If I see it, I eat it.  ALL OF IT.  In the beginning of June my weight hit my "Scary Number" so I signed back up for Weight Watchers E-Tools so I can track my eating.  Since then, I have been excellent at tracking Monday thru Thursday.  Then Friday hits....and....all Hell breaks loose.  I am not kidding.  Two weeks ago, I tracked on Monday the damage I did over the weekend and ended up being 67 Points Plus in the whole.  I haven't tracked what I ate this weekend, but let me tell you, it wasn't good.  (Friday night was a BAG of Milano cookies, a JAR of salsa with chips, and HALF of a Family Sized Papa Murphy's D-lite pizza.)

The Red line is my "Happy Weight", the Green line is my "In My Dreams" Weight.  My current weight is 0.6lbs over my "Goal" weight.

I am miserable right now.  I don't know what my problem is and I don't know how to fix it.  I used to be the queen of not putting things in my mouth I didn't have the points for.  And now it doesn't even seem o matter to me.  My pants are tight.  I feel gross.  And yet, I can't stop myself.  

I don't know what to do.  

I am scared.

I am struggling.

I need help.



  1. Have you tried other ways of tracking food? I was getting really bad a while back and I was going up/down up/down and I didn't think I would be able to get to my goal weight. Still not there but I started using Myfitnesspal.com and now tracking is interesting to me again and its working!! I've now been losing 1 lb a week for the last 3 wks. I still use the WW boards but I haven't been tracking my food on it. Maybe you need to change it up like that or try a new workout to help motivate you.

    Good luck. I know it isn't easy so I totally feel for you and the struggle you are having.

  2. First.

    *Smack* You needed that.


    (((Hugs))) You needed that.

    Step back and ask yourself why. Why are you acting this way? Is it a reaction to something? stress in school? Turning 30? Personal issues?

    Go Bang out a good run. Leave the garmin at home. Forget about pace, distance, calories. Run naked of technology.
    Clear your head, get to the root of it.

    ♥ you

  3. What if I were to say "Welcome to the club Sista!!!" I've been anywhere between 145-150 most weeks (pushing 150 currently) My happy red line is the same. Now seriously get your head out of your A$$ and get to it! You've come too damn far and have pushed me to the limits! So you haven't ran in weeks.. if it's what you want to do set a goal for like 2 or 3 days a week. You're not that far off your Happy Red Line, but you continue this sh** you will see +10, +20 or even me after the month of December +23lbs!!! You have my FB email, phone number (on FB) you know how to contact me now face it to erase it. No slack for you, I know you're exactly like me and a foot goes a long way! :)

  4. Take a breath and relax. Just refocus yourself, I find it sometimes helps to write a little list of goals or even of something to look forward to. I find it helps me refocus.