I need to quit my bitchin'...

The Internet gave me a much needed bitch slap this morning. 

The first thing I do every morning is catch up on what I missed on Twitter while I was sleeping. This morning, while sipping my coffee, eating a croissant with ham & cheese, I read 3 blog posts in a row talking about struggles with weight, both losing and keeping it off.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. My 2 year Thin-aversary is in a WEEK!

For the last year I have been whining and bitching about how I am struggling to get back to my lowest weight a measly little 5lbs from where I am today.

Why am I making such a big deal over this? My pants fit (they aren't even tight). I am within my 2lb Lifetime buffer zone.  I have a "healthy" BMI. I look in the mirror and love what I see.

So why the frack does that number on the scale bother me so much?  Seriously, why?

I'm not running or hitting the gym like I used to. I suck at tracking. If it really meant that much to me to be a certain number on the scale, I would be doing the things I know I need to do. Instead, I am eating moderately healthy, and beating myself up once a week when I step on the scale.

I really think it's okay though. I'm not out of control. Things are where they should be even if it isn't were I want it to be. The few times I have been up in a not so great range, I got it back down almost immediately.

Maybe my desire to be 5lbs lower than where I am at is actually what is helping me stay in the range I need to be in?  I don't know. But what ever is going on is obviously working so I need to STFU and keep doing it.

The point however is this...I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start feeling greatful. I need to not be such a twatwaffle because it could be much worse.
Anyway...

Here is a mid year update on the goals I set for myself in January:

2012 Goals:

1)  Get back to my "Happy Weight" and stay there! None of this up and down shit.:  See above.
2)  Maintain my 4.0 GPA: NOPE...3.9...Got a B in International Dynamics. Don't get me started.
3) Run the 8k Shamrock Run (not the 15k like I really want, I am just not ready...maybe 2013) - March: Done
4)  Race for the Roses 5k- April (Found out they have a 10k...thinking on this one...):  Nope, but did the Bridge to Brews 10k instead
5) Personal - May: Next week....gulp!
6) Portland to Coast - August: Have a team, and race is on schedule!
7) Race for the Cure 5k - September:  Need to register
8) Graduate from College - December:  Still on schedule
9)  Go to Cleveland for Christmas - December:  Plane tickets purchased and added a week in Disney to the end of the trip.
11) Blog at least once a month:  Didn't post in June.
12) Finally convince the folks at Weight Watchers to fly me to New York and make me an official Success Story. (yea,yea, this one is a LONG shot...but a girl can dream, right?):  Not yet, but I will begin drafting my 2 year Thin-aversery email tomorrow for sending on the 19th.
13) Attend a Weight Watchers meeting AT LEAST once a month, earning a new Key in December:  Still on track.

That's all I have for now. Sorry I don't have any pictures. Next month will have a LOT of pictures in the PTC post.

Oh, and I have a race on the 22nd. A 4 miler that I signed up for because it has a race medal. I want a damn medal!  I haven't run since May 27th. I imagine the race will not go well.

XOXO